Being chronically ill or terminally ill forces one to go through the five stages of grieving.
It seems when I have accepted something about my fate something else happens, and I go down the road of grief again.
The five stages of grief are: denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance.
People can go through the stages of grief at different points. What I mean by this is some people don’t start out by being in denial. Some start out by being angry, or depressed.
These five stages of grief don’t just apply to us with illness, but to every aspect of life that has to do with loss.
This is now my eighth time going through the grieving process. in association with illness. It doesn’t get easier, and I find myself going through multiple stages of grief daily.
Today I woke up and pretended the news I got recently didn’t happen, this is marked as a denial phase. Later I began to feel sad, gloomy, and impending doom swept over me, this is marked as depression. Again as the day progressed I found myself slipping into a little anger, followed by the lovely bargaining. Perhaps if I change this in my diet, or give this up maybe I’ll just magically get better, this is both denial and bargaining.
Needless to say no matter what point in your life you are in grief stages apply. Whether it is the end of a relationship, the end of someone’s life, the end of the job, the end of your good health. We will all at some point experience the five stages of grief.
For me it all started with the cancer diagnosis. After that pre-cancer, genetic disease, chronic illness, the decent into Disease continued and the floodgates opened.
I grieved the loss of independence, having to accept help from others and deal with the loss of my dreams. Grieve being childless, the maternal instinct, ripped from me. Moreover the stagnant life being frozen in time, watching friends achieve dreams, travel, have children become something and do something with their lives. While I became sicker.
To get to the acceptance stage you must first and foremost feel. Allow yourself to feel every emotion associated with your grief. I fully feeling each feeling, and each stage you can work through it. Do not give up on you. Continue to work through your grief.
Eventually I came to a place of acceptance. For a long time while bouncing around between the stages back-and-forth at times it seemed. I never thought acceptance would find me.
That saying is true, ” when you can tell your story without crying you have been healed.”
I don’t cry about my fate anymore, I may be sick, weak physically, but chronic illness has made me stronger mentally.
Acceptance is knowing you cannot change your situation, it is knowing you can and will do what you can with what you have.
Thank you for reading. I remain hopeful always.