Steph May Heads POEM “The Monster In The Mirror”

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THE MONSTER IN THE MIRROR 

By Stephanie May Heads

She won’t shut up
Won’t leave me alone
She won’t stop
Till I’m skin and bone

Just how we wana be
But not rationally
Breaking mirrors is a dream of mine can’t make it reality

Like a constant loop of music
Repeating in my ears
Bullying me, bruising me
For many of my years

Cutting at me, picking at me
Pulling at my hair
Laughing at my make up
U won’t wear it bitch, don’t dare!

Stop eating u don’t deserve it!
Go on, ram it down your throat!
You make vomit, make me sick
Look at you , you’re a joke!

Buy the clothes, don’t buy them
Get a bigger size
Cut things off, bleach them twice
I wana pull out both my eyes.

However much I lose
It won’t ever be enough
The mirror cries at me
And I stand there feeling crushed.

Who is it that is lying?
I can see it all looks vile
Like a candle face, melting,
Dripping down like Dahli’s style.

I hate her, I detest her
Her feelings are the same
All our insecurities
It is us she always blames.

The one thing that I did
That helped me to stay sane
You took it all away from me
And so you won again.

Nothing of me works right
Neither body nor my mind
In a way I can’t believe my eyes
This illness makes me blind.

To me it’s very true
it’s my reality
To me, self loathing and being ashamed
Is my speciality.

I wish I wasn’t like this
Wish I was beautiful
Attractive and confident
It would be wonderful.

Dysmorphia, anxiety,
Depression, BPD.
All these illnesses and sadness
They’re us, they’re you and me.

Check out Steph May Heads other posts here on her page https://annawerrunblog.wordpress.com/steph-may-heads-blog-page/

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